Moving Past the Elephant in the Room

In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.

—(credited to) St. Augustine

After reading the Facebook responses to my post about how I am trying (and occasionally failing) to adjust my work schedule to fit my personal needs as well as my family’s, I want to write an encouraging post for moms (like me!) who sometimes struggle with worry and guilt. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, a work-from-home or working stay-at-home hybrid, chances are that you, too, have felt the pangs of “if only.” (“If only I could stay at home…” “If only I could earn some extra money for my family…” “If only I didn’t have to put my kids in childcare…” “If only I could afford to put my kids in preschool so they could socialize with other kids…” and on and on and on.)

But before I can have an honest, biblical conversation with you about that, I first have to address the elephant in the room. Because if I don’t, I will undoubtedly get a flurry of e-mails and comments from all the elephant handlers out there. (Though I’m sure this doesn’t apply to any of you, dear readers!)

Ready? Here’s the elephant:

All Christian women should stay at home with their kids.

Ah, you’ve been pummeled by that elephant before? Thought so. Well, then. Let’s describe this elephant a bit more, shall we?

 All Christian women should be married, should not use birth control so that they are able to have lots of children, should stay at home with said children, and should homeschool them.

I could go on, but you get the point.

This elephant has a name. His name is “You Should.” He stampedes all over churches and Christian organizations, trouncing the freedom (and sometimes the faith) of countless Christians. Although this elephant is obviously gray from trunk to tail, his handlers see him as either black or white. And because they think he is black or white, they insist that You Should see him that way too.

Let me be clear: there are essential tenets of the Christian faith. These issues truly are black or white. Pastor Brett calls them “close-handed” issues, things we cling to tightly and about which we do not compromise. Beth Moore calls them “spine” issues, the things that connect and comprise the true body of Christ.

These essentials include such things as the Trinity, the deity of Christ, salvation by grace and not by works, the resurrection, and so on. These are things about which the Bible is clear, things that one must embrace in order to be among the body of Christ. (To hear what the Bible says about these essentials, you can listen to Pastor Brett’s message series “We Hold These Truths.”)

However, there are other issues that are not of the essential core of Christian beliefs. Throughout the history of the church, these have been called “nonessentials.” My pastor calls them “open-handed” issues, things we hold with an open hand and have room for differences of opinion. Beth Moore calls them “rib issues,” things that branch off from the spine and, as she writes in Stepping Up, “are not matters of life and death.”

In other words, these are gray areas. Like it or not, there ARE gray areas in the Christian life. (If there weren’t, we wouldn’t have so many denominations!)

Examples of nonessentials in the Christian faith include:

*views on the end times (premillennial, postmillennial, amillennial?)

* spiritual gifts (do the gifts of healing and tongues still exist?)

 * worship styles (hymns, choruses, modern worship, pop music, or no music at all?)

 * Bible versions (King James only, or modern translations?)

And the list goes on. In addition to these nonessentials in theology, there are nonessentials in Christian lifestyle. These are things that are a matter of conscience between one and God, things that (while some elephant handlers rush to proof-text) are neither clearly permitted nor forbidden in Scripture.

For example:

* Can a Christian have wine with dinner? Drink coffee? Smoke?

* Can a Christian watch TV? Go to the movies? Play video games?

* Can a Christian dance? Play cards? Read books other than the Bible?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Just to show you how large this elephant is, let me throw out a few more:

 * Birth control (never permitted, only when family planning, always okay?)

* Education (public school, private school, homeschool?)

 *  Politics (should Christians belong to a certain political party, run for office, abstain from all politics?)

And, of course, the matter at hand:

 * Can Christian women work outside the home?

Now again, let me be very clear. There are essentials in Christian lifestyle. The Bible specifically forbids drunkenness, sex outside of marriage, sorcery, and idolatry, to name a few. It also forbids lying, greed, coveting, lust, and gossip. (Wow, aren’t you grateful for the grace of God?)

The Bible calls us to strive to live a life worthy of our calling (2 Thessalonians 1:11), to become conformed to the likeness of Christ (Romans 8:29), to be pure and blameless (Ephesians 1:4; 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 3:13; 4:7; Hebrews 12:14), and to be holy as God is holy (1 Peter 1:15–16).

The fact that there are nonessentials does not give Christians a “get-out-of-obedience-free” card to live however they want. (See Paul’s argument to the contrary in Romans 6.) And the fact that there are nonessentials does not negate the reliability or perspicuity of Scripture. However, we must acknowledge that God has not chosen to treat every issue in the Bible with equal clarity. He has left some things ambiguous in His Word, while other things He keeps secret (Deuteronomy 29:29). As the Westminster Confession says, "All things in Scripture are not alike plain in themselves, nor alike clear unto all."

In other words, while the Bible clearly presents essential doctrines and issues (issues to which we cling tightly and would die for), it does allow for genuine Christians to have differences of opinion on nonessentials.

Hang on… just in case any elephant handlers accidentally wandered by and are mentally preparing a response to this post, claiming “there are no gray areas in Scripture,” check out Romans 14. Because if you assert that there are no gray areas in Scripture, you’re going to have to take that up with the apostle Paul.

You see, in the book of Romans, Paul is in the process of teaching about unity in the church (chapter 12) and Christian love (chapter 13), when he has to pause to address a nonessential--what he calls a “disputable matter”--that was stirring up dissention and disunity among the Christians in Rome. At the time, the nonessential being hotly debated was this:

* Can Christians eat meat that has been offered to a pagan idol?

 The elephant handlers in the Romans church had come out swinging. The meat eaters said, You Should eat that meat, because Christians know there are no such things as idols. So come on, dig in! But the non-meat-eaters said, You Should abstain from anything that gives the appearance of evil. So get your hands off that pagan meat!

So which is it: to eat, or not to eat? The elephant handlers saw this issue as clearly black or white, and they wanted Paul to join them and say You Should do exactly what they did. Boy, were they surprised at his response!

Go ahead, grab your Bible and turn to Romans 14. Wait, better yet, I’ll paste it below. Go on, read the whole chapter. I’ll wait…

Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written:

“'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,

every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will confess to God.'"

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. (Romans 14; emphasis added)

Did you see it? Paul says that even though he has an opinion on the subject (v. 14), it is exactly that—an opinion. In other words, “Sorry, guys. This elephant is gray.” So if your conscience allows you to eat that meat, then grab some A1 Steak Sauce and chow down to the glory of God. But if you think it’s dishonoring to God to eat meat sacrificed to idols, then by all means, order a salad.

And here’s the key: no matter what your personal conviction before God—to eat or not to eat—don’t start wagging your finger and telling your Christian brothers and sisters that You Should do exactly the same.

Meat eaters, when a vegetarian Christian invites you over for dinner, don’t bring a rib-eye and gobble it up in front of them—or worse, berate them about being less “spiritual” than you are because they’re salad-only.

And you vegetarians, don’t go crusading against the meat eaters. Don’t hold seminars or post blogs saying that meat eaters aren’t real Christians.

Instead, the apostle Paul says, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food” (v. 20). Or for the sake of education, or birth control, or television, or any of the other nonessentials, for that matter.

And do not destroy the work of God for the sake of whether moms "should" stay at home, earn an income, or something in between. Because that elephant, my friends, is very gray.

So, as Paul says in Romans 14:22, "whatever you believe about these things"--in this case, your personal conviction regarding the unique role God has designed for you in your own family--"keep between yourself and God." In other words, when it comes to nonessentials like this, don't let your "I believe this" turn into "...and You Should too."

And if this particular "disputable matter" comes up among your friends or in your church, especially if the You Should elephant rears its head, do your best to "let your conversation be always full of grace" (Colossians 4:6) and respond with gentleness and love, bearing in mind that Scripture urges us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3).

Whew! It feels good to get that elephant out of the room, doesn’t it? It feels much more… well, free in here.

By the way, Paul has to deal with this exact same "disputable matter" again in 1 Corinthians 10:23-33. I wonder if Paul felt like a parent who has to tell his kids the same thing over and over and over again? Sigh. I can soo relate...

Practical Help for Working Couples

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing the Work & the Joy:

Smart Solutions to Dozens of Household Dilemmas Couples Face Every Day

by Kathy Peel (with advice for men by Bill Peel)

Years ago, when I was the public relations coordinator at Word Publishing, I met a vibrant, enthusiastic author named Kathy Peel. Her new book The Family Manager was receiving rave reviews, not only in Christian publications and media outlets but also among the in-house team at Word.


At the tender age of twenty-two, managing a family was the last thing on my mind. The ink had barely dried on my A&M diploma, and I was happily immersing myself in my first full-time job. I was single, taking master's classes at Dallas Theological Seminary, and renting a tiny one-bedroom apartment in seminary housing. I thought about passing on my copy of The Family Manager to someone who could use it, but something tugged at my heart, and I knew I should hang on it. Who knew? Maybe someday I might need it.

Hoo boy, was that an understatement! Little did I know then that someday I’d be married to a church planter, raising three kids, and managing my own freelance business. I’ve referred back to my now-worn copy of The Family Manager several times for Kathy’s advice and tips for running a well-organized household. (Though, see my honest admission that my home isn’t exactly a paragon of peace and quiet these days.)

What I appreciate about Kathy is that she gives all mothers—whether stay-at-home moms, working moms, or like me, a little of both—a significant and admirable title: “Family Manager.” And she trains women to manage their families with the same skills and strategies that successful business managers use. Her tips are practical, helpful, and seasoned with grace.

The Busy Couple’s Guide to Sharing the Work & the Joy is no exception. In this practical resource, Kathy tackles many common household issues, such as time management, housekeeping, meal planning, relationships, finances, and special events. Each chapter is filled with Kathy’s trademark practicality and can-do optimism, as well as ideas to make your family life less stressed. (One of my favorite sidebars is the list of family-friendly iPhone apps, in which you’ll discover such gems as “Sit or Squat”—an app that gives traveling families the nearest bathroom options, as well as stats on cleanliness and changing tables. Genius!) I also enjoyed her creative ideas for spending quality time with your kids.

Though some of the checklists and worksheets are a bit tedious, many of Kathy’s common-sense tips are very helpful, such as simple strategies to communicate with your spouse, simplify each room of your home, and delegate household tasks according to personality and availability. (I can vouch for that last one. For example, in our family, Brett goes shopping with the kids because he doesn’t mind the eventfulness of three kids in public places—and I put away the groceries when he gets home, because I’m just OCD enough to enjoy organizing and rearranging the fridge and pantry so that everything fits just right.)

As an added bonus, Kathy’s husband, Bill, penned a men’s perspective to each chapter, making this book a good resource for couples to read together.

If one of your New Year's resolutions is to experience more peace and order in your home, I can honestly recommend this book, along with any of the resources from Kathy Peel’s Family Manager brand.

NOTE: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishers.

A Broken Resolution... and a Faithful God

Making New Year’s resolutions is easy; it’s keeping them that’s hard.

We’re officially four days into the new year. So how are you doing on your resolutions for 2010?

I have to confess: I’ve already broken one of mine.

I’m one of the growing number of moms who don’t quite fit any labels. Although I stay home with our three kids, I am not a SAHM in the sense of being a room mother and baking cookies. And although I work between 30-40 hours a week, I don’t put my kids in daycare or drive to an office every day. Instead, I work from home while the kids are in school. When they come home, I put aside my “work” hat and assume a more traditional maternal role, helping the kids with homework, shuttling them to after-school activities, fixing dinner, catching up on housework, and spending time with my family until bedtime. After I tuck the kids in bed, I typically brew coffee and go back to work until the words start blurring together somewhere around 1 a.m.

So I’m a “work at home” mom, kind of a both/and hybrid. Add the role of pastor’s wife to the mix, and you see the tangle of work, mothering, and ministry that my daily life entails.

If I had to pick a verse to describe my life this past year, it would be Job 3:26: “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Okay, maybe not “turmoil,” but you get the picture. Little by little, one urgent thing after another, I let my time for quietness and stillness slip away.

As I mentioned yesterday, Brett and I chose as our family's theme verse for this year: “Come near to God, and He will come near to you” (James 4:8). Realizing that the expanding needs of our church and family will tempt us to neglect our time with God more than ever, we worked out a plan to ensure we both have time for daily Bible reading and prayer, enabling us to “come near to God” that we might experience more of Him this year.

Part of the plan—on paper, anyway—was that I would start spending time with God in the evenings, instead of in the mornings. Because no matter how hard I tried to have my quiet time in the mornings, I couldn’t fully relax and enjoy the lingering time with God that my soul needs before the pitter-patter of footsteps on the stairs signaled that the kids were up and already launching in full force the morning hurry-scurry of getting ready for school and the business of the day.

Sigh. I need quietness. And stillness. Things that are in short supply in the mornings around our house!

Hence my New Year’s resolution: stop working at night, so that I can spend that time lingering in the presence of God. Put the kids to bed at their regular bedtime, and instead of brewing coffee to squeeze in a few more work hours, spend that time on the things that nourish my soul. With no hurry. No deadlines. And most of all, no guilt that I “should” be using the only truly quiet moments of my day to catch up on manuscripts.

It was—and is—a practical, doable plan.

But I messed up last night.

After tucking the kids in bed, I figured I had time to do just “one quick thing” for work before having that restful time with God. One quick thing that took me two hours. One quick thing that robbed me of the stillness and peace I needed that day.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my job. But the book publishing business is driven by printer deadlines--deadlines that do not bend for authors who turn in manuscripts late or require a lot of rewriting. There’s often a lot of pressure on me to do a quality job on a tight schedule, and because I am the poster child for Type A, that causes a lot of stress for me. And that stress takes up residence, not only in my knotted shoulders and my rising blood pressure, but in my soul. After I spent two hours finishing a manuscript last night, I found myself only going through the motions of a quiet time. I couldn’t focus on what God had to say to me, because my mind was cluttered, distracted, filled with visions of the other deadlines I have coming up this month.

This morning, God reminded me of a verse—words He spoke to His rebellious people in Isaiah 30:15—and words He spoke directly to my heart:

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.”

Ouch! Reality check: that’s exactly what I did last night. I knew that I should have rested in God, but I “would have none of it.” To be painfully honest, my work took precedence over my God.

I am so thankful that just three verses later, God revealed to those same rebellious people—and to me!—another chance to exeperience His peace:

The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.

There it is again. Did you see it? “The LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion.”

Come to God, and He will show you His love and compassion.

Come near to God, and He will come near to you.

In his radio message today, Chuck Swindoll quoted one of my favorite professors at Dallas Theological Seminary, Dr. Howard Hendricks. Regarding the importance of setting priorities, Hendricks said wisely, “Some things must be, so that other things might be.”

True words, indeed. Some things must be given absolute priority, so that other things—the things we hope and dream to accomplish—might have the opportunity to come true.

So what is your New Year’s resolution? What do you want to accomplish or experience in 2010?

If you really want to keep your resolution, I challenge you (and me!) to “make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16). Make a plan. Mercilessly purge the things that fritter away your time and distract you from accomplishing your goal. Because some things must be, so that other things might be.

And when you mess up (like I did last night!), don’t let that discourage you. Instead, draw near to God, rest in Him, and ask for His help. After all, His mercies are new every morning! (Aren't you glad?)

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
To the soul who seeks him."

--Lamentations 3:22-23, 25 ESV

Draw Me Nearer

God is not prodigal with His power; but to be much for God, we must be much with God.
—Leonard Ravenhill

Yesterday at breakfast, Brett shared with the kids our family’s theme verse for 2010. Opening his Bible to the book of James, chapter 4, he immediately captivated their attention by reading a passage that hit home for our three young kids, who have been cooped up together for these past two weeks of school break:

Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war within you. You want things, but you do not have them. So you ... are jealous of other people, but you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You do not get what you want, because you do not ask God. Or when you ask, you do not receive because the reason you ask is wrong. You want things so you can use them for your own pleasures. (James 4:1–3 NCV)

After discussing a few practical alternatives to our kids' arguing and fighting—inevitable realities of too much “family togetherness” over the holidays (can I get a witness?)—Brett continued reading the passage until he arrived at our family’s theme verse for 2010:

Come near to God, and God will come near to you. (v. 8 NCV)

This verse, so simple that even our three-year-old can memorize it, sums up our foremost desire for the new year. Like Jonathan Edwards’s resolution #30, we will “strive our utmost every week to be brought . . . to a higher exercise of [God’s] grace than the week before.” To do that, we have made a plan—as individuals and as a family—to come near to God each day.

As anyone in ministry knows, one of the enemy’s most cunning strategies is to keep Christians so busy—even serving in the church—that they neglect personal time with the Lord. John Ortberg once said, “For many of us the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so busy and distracted and rushed that we will settle for a mediocre version of it.”

And never is that temptation stronger than when a church is growing and thriving. In just under two years, The Church at Sendera Ranch has grown from a nascent Bible study to a vibrant and healthy church. As we look forward to another exciting year of helping people develop into fully functioning followers of Christ (and the additional ministries, staff, and opportunities that 2010 will bring), it is imperative that we do not become so busy serving the Lord that we neglect our time of sitting at His feet.

Because a God-honoring church is not about “putting numbers on the scoreboard,” as one pastor referred to his own strategy. It’s about making much of God.

And a God-honoring life is not about trying to impress people with how “spiritual” you are. It’s about pursuing an authentic, vibrant, ongoing communion with God.

And here is God’s astounding, immutable promise: when you come near to Him, He will come near to you.

Yes, you.

No matter where you are, no matter what you've done or how hopeless you feel or what you fear this new year will bring, you can cling to this one promise, strong and sure: if you come near to God, then God Himself--the God of all hope, healing, love, comfort, peace, and glory--will come near to you.

So what are you waiting for?

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,
And it told Thy love to me;
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,
By the power of grace divine;
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
And my will be lost in Thine.

O the pure delight of a single hour
That before Thy throne I spend,
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God
I commune as friend with friend!

There are depths of love that I cannot know
Till I cross the narrow sea;
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.

Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord,
To the cross where Thou hast died.
Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessed Lord,
To Thy precious, bleeding side.

--Fanny Crosby

Resolved...

As the clocks mark the passing of the first hours and days of a new decade, many people are making resolutions for the coming year. They are resolved to lose weight, to exercise more, to read the Bible regularly, to spend more time with family, and so on.

I have to admit, some of my goals for 2010 are similar. I, too, plan to read through the Bible again and aspire to lose the baby weight that has frustratingly and firmly taken up residence on my hips.

As I mentioned here, one of my random personal traditions is that each year on my birthday I reread the resolutions of Jonathan Edwards, most of which he penned at age nineteen and read every week for the rest of his life. Though it's a lengthy (at at times cumbersome) list, every time I read it, God speaks to my heart on at least one of these resolutions and shows me how I fall short and desperately need Him to help me become more Christlike in that area.

Putting together my goals for the coming year, I thought it appropriate to reread Edwards's resolutions. Tomorrow, I'll share with you which resolution hit home for me this year--and how it relates to our family's theme verse for 2010.

But for now, I want you to have the opportunity to read these resolutions for yourself. Though you may not agree with all of them (after all, most of us have been known to crack a joke on Sundays, unlike #38!), if you read these resolutions thoughtfully and prayerfully, you just might be surprised at what God might whisper in your own heart about what He has in store for you in 2010.

Happy New Year!

My Favorite Books of 2009

I love books. That’s no secret, especially since I read for a living! But I don’t just have a passing interest in books; I love books the way a cat lady loves her cats. I pore over them, treasure them, and spend embarrassing amounts of time sorting them in our library (by category, then by author’s last name, in case you’re wondering). I have books in every room of the house (yes, every room), and I even stash books in the car, diaper bag, and my purse, so that I am never without something to read.

As a freelance book editor, I edit dozens of manuscripts every year. For example, in 2009, I worked on forty-three books. Most of them were really good reads—some of them are bestselling, amazing reads!—but all of them taught me something and helped me grow as a Christian, as a reader, as a person. And of course, the privilege of getting to know the authors I work with is priceless.

In addition to the books I edit, I also read books for the sheer joy of it. Some are light reads, while others make me think. Some help me improve my writing and editing skills, and others give me fresh insights on church planting and ministry life. All of them impact me in some way, even if it’s only to note how a poorly written book could have been improved!

On this last day of 2009, I thought it would be fun to share with you a few of my favorite personal reads from this past year--though not all of them were published in 2009. Enjoy!

*Note: None of the books I edited are on this list. Though I’ve worked on some truly great books this year, including them among my favorites would not only seem self-serving, but I couldn’t possibly pick one author over another. They’re all wonderful! :-)

Classics

Eyes to See, volumes 1 and 2, Bret Lott
If you want to read the classics but don’t have a lot of time to devote to lengthy, 19th-century novels, you’ll love these compilations! Bret Lott, editor and New York Times bestselling author, has compiled these two collections of “enduring stories that challenge and inspire.” Each chapter is a short story or chapter of a well-known book that will give you the richness and diversity of classic authors such as Leo Tolstoy, G.K. Chesterton, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Charles Dickens, and Flannery O’Connor, to newer voices like John Updike, Frederick Buechner, and Helen Norris.

A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L’Engle
I can’t believe that I didn’t read this book when I was in school. How did I pass up such a gem? If you haven’t read A Wrinkle in Time, no matter your age, I highly recommend it. Though it can be read allegorically—and has much insight into the human condition and the nature of God’s truth—it’s also an enchanting story of love, longing, and loyalty.

The Giver, Lois Lowry

This short book packs a powerful punch! Reminiscent of Brave New World, Lowry’s The Giver is set in a futuristic society where the government has eliminated poverty, sickness, and unhappiness. But as 12-year-old Jonas discovers, this utopia comes at a terrible price. This intriguing story weaves Christian allegory with hauntingly contemporary insights.

Memoir

Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life, Shauna Niequist

I stumbled upon this book on a clearance rack and honestly wasn’t expecting much from this author’s debut memoir—but I was pleasantly surprised! Cold Tangerines is a “shameless appeal for celebration,” says Niequist, and each chapter is flavored with vulnerable, poignant insights that showcase the myriad ways God infuses our everyday, messy, fragile lives. I laughed out loud at "Basement" (yep, we all have rooms that only our best friends are allowed to see) and related to many of her stories of friendship, love, and loss. I’m already looking forward to her sophomore book, due next fall.

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith and Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith, Anne Lamott

One of the authors I work with is repeatedly compared with Anne Lamott, so before editing his next book I decided to become familiar with Lamott's writing style. I found these at Half-Price Books, packed them in my pool bag (did I mention that I always carry books with me?), and read them while the kids splashed around in the pool this summer. Now, if you’re the type of person who only reads “Christian” books and takes offense to strong language or unconventional views of God, Lamott's writing isn't for you. But if you can appreciate the truth behind honest and witty irreverence, then you will love her books. As a writer, Lamott is truly exceptional. She has mastered the craft of storytelling, weaving tales so bittersweet and poignant that you will laugh out loud while reaching for your Kleenex. If you are a writer—of any genre—I recommend Lamott’s books as part of your library.

An American Childhood, Annie Dillard

I admit, I was on a bit of a “memoir” kick this summer, so next I ventured to Annie Dillard’s remarkable autobiography. This book is so exquisite, so breathtakingly well written, that it’s in a class of its own. The Philadelphia Inquirer review sums it up best: “The reader who can’t find something to whoop about in this book is not alive. An American Childhood is perhaps the best American autobiography since Russell Baker’s Growing Up.” Amen!

The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, A. J. Jacobs
From the man who chronicled his reading of the entire Encyclopedia Britannica (The Know-It-All) comes one of the most hilarious books I’ve read in years. Make no mistake: Jacobs is not a religious man. He is a New York Jewish agnostic who describes himself as Jewish “in the same the way the Olive Garden is an Italian restaurant.” He decides to follow the laws and rules of the Bible, beginning with the Old Testament, for one year. He starts by growing a beard and chronicles every itchy moment. I was amused as Jacobs obsessed over literal interpretation of Bible verses. And I laughed hysterically when his menstruating wife got so mad she went around the house and sat on all the furniture, thus rendering everything “unclean.” In this book, you’ll meet a fascinating array of Jewish rabbis, Christians of every stripe, and Jacobs’ friends and neighbors who help him (or harass him) along this ambitious, memorable journey.

Theology

The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, Tim Keller

If you only read one book in 2010, read this one! In the spirit of C. S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity, Keller draws material from literary classics, philosophy, anthropology, and other disciplines to make an intellectually compelling case for God. With biblical insights, impeccable logic, and compelling insights, pastor Keller challenges skeptics’ most common objections to Christianity, such as “How could a good God allow suffering?” “Science has disproved Christianity,” “You can’t take the Bible literally,” and many more. Read this book and take lots of notes, reread it, and then pass it on to a friend.

The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith, Tim Keller

After reading The Reason for God, I was eager to plunge into Keller’s next book The Prodigal God, despite its off-putting title. I’m glad I did! This book is much shorter and easier to read, so if you’re new to Tim Keller and daunted by the size and scope of his Reason for God, you might want to start with this one. In this book, Keller looks at the parable of the prodigal son from the perspective of the elder brother and uncovers God’s “prodigal” grace toward both the irreligious and the legalistic. Whether you’re a longtime churchgoer or haven’t set foot in church in years, this book will challenge, convict, and inspire you to seek a fresh relationship with God.

Passionate Conviction: Contemporary Discourses on Christian Apologetics, ed. Paul Copan and William Lane Craig

Yes, I know this sounds like an apologetics textbook, but it’s actually a fascinating read for anyone who wants to defend the Christian faith. Each chapter summaries a lecture from a national apologetics conference, including contributors J. P. Moreland, N. T. Wright, and Gary Habermas, to name a few. The book covers questions such as “Why Doesn’t God Make His Existence More Obvious to Us?”, “What Do We Know for Sure about Jesus’ Death?”, and “Is Morality Relative?,” in addition to fascinating insights ranging from science to ecclesiology, including the cosmological argument for intelligent design, Christianity’s uniqueness among Eastern religions, the challenges of postmodernism, and reflections on the emerging church.

Church Planting/ Ministry

Confessions of a Reformation Rev.: Hard Lessons from an Emerging Missional Church, Mark Driscoll

My husband is an experienced church planter, so I thoroughly enjoyed pastor Mark Driscoll’s engaging story of starting Mars Hill Church in Seattle. As a church planting wife, I could relate to many of Driscoll’s experiences of the failures, frustrations, and just plain messiness of planting a church that is faithful to the gospel of Christ in this post-Christian culture. I appreciate how Driscoll not only shares the story of Mars Hill but also presents lessons he learned as well as practices that worked. This is a valuable resource for any church planter or pastor.

Change Your Church for Good: The Art of Sacred Cow Tipping, Brad Powell *
(*Full disclosure: I edited an updated version of this book, but I’m commenting on the original hardcover I did not work on.) In this book, pastor Brad Powell shares his experiences of transitioning an old (and, at the time, culturally irrelevant) church into the vibrant, effective ministry of North Ridge Church in Detroit. His premise is that the church is the hope of the world—when it’s working right. Though his insights are directed to pastors who are transitioning small churches, there is much that applies to church planting as well. A recommended read for any church planter or pastor who wants an effective, relevant church.

Christian Living

Seeing God in the Ordinary: A Theology of the Everyday, Michael Frost

This book is a delightful treasure from Australian professor Michael Frost. In Seeing God in the Ordinary, Frost urges Christians to develop a robust faith that enables us to be filled with wonder at our astonishing God. Reminiscent of one of my all-time favorites—Mark Noll’s The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind—Frost urges readers to rediscover the place of imagination in the Christian life and explores how the great themes of Christianity are woven into modern books, poetry, and movies to reveal the presence of God in our day-to-day lives.

Fearless: Imagine Your Life without Fear, Max Lucado

Lucado’s latest book is a timely reminder that for those who know God, we have nothing to fear—not the economy, not healthcare, not even the tremulous state of the world. In his trademark style, Lucado examines Jesus’ statements about fear and encourages us to take heart, even in difficult times. Whether you’re new to Lucado or a longtime fan, this book will not disappoint.

Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life, Keri Wyatt Kent
As a mother of three who juggles kids, church planting, an editing career, friends, and a never-ending to-do list, this book came along at just the right time for me. This light, easy read reminds women that our value isn’t found in what we do but in who we are. Keri’s decision to scale down her family’s activities affirmed my commitment to keep things simple with our children. If you are feeling weary and burdened, I encourage you to pick up this book, slow down—and breathe.

Fiction

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, Kate DiCamillo

Kate DiCamillo is becoming one of my favorite authors. From her classics The Tale of Desperaux and Because of Winn-Dixie, to her lesser-known but still exquisite The Tiger Rising and The Magician’s Elephant, DiCamillo has the rare ability to write children’s stories that appeal to readers of all ages. Of all her books I’ve read so far, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane is my favorite. This endearing tale of a china rabbit who, through a series of extraordinary events, learns how to love brought me to tears. If you like The Velveteen Rabbit, you will love The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. It’s a modern classic that has earned its way onto every child’s (and adult's) bookshelf.

The Help, Kathryn Stockett

With characters so rich and realistic, I’m still amazed that this is Stockett’s debut novel. Set in 1960s Jackson, Mississippi, where black women “were trusted to raise white children but not to polish the household silver,” this is the tale of friendship, betrayal, anguish, and love written in such provoking detail that you feel swept up into the lives of these women. I know it’s a cliché, but I couldn’t put this book down; I read it in a single night. I’ve read lots of fiction books this year that I don’t recommend, but The Help is a shining exception.

On Reading

How Reading Changed My Life, Anna Quindlen

In this short but insightful book, novelist and former Newsweek columnist Anna Quindlen describes her love affair with reading with enthralling accuracy. “Reading has always been my home, my sustenance, my great invincible companion,” she explains. “I did not read from a sense of superiority, or advancement, or even learning. I read because I loved it more than any activity on earth.” As someone who definitely relates to this kind of fanatical “book love,” I thoroughly enjoyed this book and was inspired to read several of the books on the recommended reading list Quindlen provides for fellow bibliophiles.

Reading Is Believing: The Christian Faith through Literature and Film, David S. Cunningham

In this engaging look at faith and culture, David Cunningham helps readers understand how a Christian reading of novels and movies leads to a deeper, more precise and experiential knowledge of faith. Cunningham examines such classics as Dickens’s Hard Times and Shakespeare’s A Winter’s Tale to modern books (Tori Morrison’s Beloved) and movies (Dead Man Walking). As a Christian who enjoys reading widely (not just “Christian” books), I appreciated Cunningham’s ability to recognize and communicate God’s truth as revealed in popular culture.

On Writing

The Hero’s 2 Journeys, Michael Hauge and Christopher Vogler (CD set)

As a book editor, I’m often asked, “How do you know what to change in a book? Do you just fix typos?” Oh my, no. It’s much more than typos, I explain. It’s more like listening to a symphony and hearing notes that are dissonant, out of place. Sometimes you can just fix a note or two; other times you have to reorganize an entire movement so that the melody ring through more effectively. But when I listened to The Hero’s 2 Journeys (okay, it’s a CD set, not a book), I realized the authors were describing in detail what I had been doing by instinct all these years. Though these lectures focus on writing screenplays, Hauge and Vogler lay out a template for storytelling that applies to writers of all genres. If you are, or ever plan to be, a writer, I strongly recommend listening to this writer’s workshop. I promise, your editor will be grateful you did!

The Art and Craft of Storytelling: A Comprehensive Guide to Classic Writing Techniques, Nancy Lamb

“Storytelling is an art. But it is also a craft.” So says Nancy Lamb, encouraging writers not only to use their instinct, but to develop the skills and technique required to create an effective story. As an editor, I love this: “Storytelling rules aren’t restrictions. In fact, a basic understanding of the rules frees you to do your job as a writer.” (And all the editors in the room said, AMEN!) Whether you’re a published author or an aspiring one, this book will help you refine the art—and craft—of storytelling.

The Art of War for Writers: Fiction Writing Strategies, Tactics, and Exercises, James Scott Bell

This little red book is a battle plan to achieving publishing victory. Drawing humorous and insightful parallels from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, novelist James Scott Bell lays out tactics ranging from developing ideas, building characters, and crafting dazzling dialogue… to battling self-doubts, coping with unrealistic expectations, and dealing with rejection. With short, pithy chapters, this book is easy to read, full of practical insights, and well worth your time.

She's Making a List, Checking It Twice...

As I was doing Miss B's eyedrops last night, I noticed a piece of notebook paper on her dresser. “What’s this?” I asked, taking it over to her as I sat on her bed for our nightly pre-tuck-in chat.

“Oh, I’m starting a club with my friends,” she said, naming four or five other girls in her second-grade class. “This is the list of our club rules, symbol, code, and password.”

Chuckling to myself—This daughter of mine is already starting clubs and making lists!—I asked if I could read it.

“Sure!” she said brightly.

I'm not sure what the code and password have to do with anything, but I have to admit, I am heartened by her "rules":

If only grown-ups would play by the same rules (minus the "no boys allowed" part), this world would be a much better place!