When Will It Be Fixed?

All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe ... get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the Cross.

—Colossians 1:20 MSG

Life was an adventure when our kids were ages five and under. Brett was a busy pastor, and I did my best to meet my editing deadlines while keeping all three kids—an infant and two preschoolers—happy, fed, and, well . . . alive. Sometimes my biggest accomplishment was just getting through the day!

At the time, we lived south of Austin, down by the hill country. It provided for some beautiful landscapes, but when your days are an exhausting whirlwind of changing diapers, refereeing squabbles, cleaning up toys, folding endless piles of laundry, and searching for the missing lids to sippy cups, you don’t want scenery. You want your mommy.

So I was thrilled when my mom called in early March to announce that she was spending spring break with us! I looked forward to seeing her and letting her enjoy the kids. Plus, my mom has that Mary Poppins–like ability to swoop in, delight the children with stories and songs, and even make a game out of cleaning the house together. (How does she do that?)

I eagerly picked up Mom from the airport, and on our way home, I gave her a quick tour of our community. As I drove past the dance studio where the girls took lessons, my three-year-old daughter J.J. wailed from the backseat, “Oh no! We forgot to go to dance today!”

“No, darling, there’s no class today,” I reminded her. “It’s spring break.”

I continued chatting with Mom as I showed her our church, the kids’ preschool, and so on. As we were nearing the highway to head back to the house, J.J. piped up, out of the blue: “When will it be fixed?”

“What?” I looked at Mom quizzically, and she just shrugged. I declare, having preschoolers is enough to make you think you're losing your mind.

Apparently J.J. thought I was not only crazy but also hard of hearing. So she repeated her question a few decibels louder. “I said, when will it be FIXED?”

I still didn’t get it. “When will what be fixed, honey?”

Exasperated, she said, “Spring! When will spring be fixed? I want to go to dance class!”

Oh! Spring break.

As realization hit, I couldn’t control my laughter. And neither could my mom. Pretty soon, we were both laughing so hard we were crying. I have no idea how I managed to get on the highway through all those gales of giggles.

Somehow, between guffaws, I managed to reassure my concerned (and befuddled) three-year-old that spring wasn’t broken. It was just a time when schools took a “break” and gave kids a week off to have a little fun.

This year, J.J. is in kindergarten and will experience her first actual “spring break” as a school-age kid. And believe me, she’s looking forward to it! We’re taking the week off as a family to relax and have fun together.

Still, I’m amused by the memory of J.J.’s innocent question: When will it be fixed?

Spring isn’t broken, of course. But if we’re not careful, our hectic schedules and everyday stress can distract us from taking care of what’s important. Amid the swirl of carpools and deadlines and sports practice and office politics, we can lose track of the things we care about the most—our families, our friends, our faith.

So while spring doesn’t need to be fixed, it is a chance for us to fix the things that are broken.

This year, take a few days off work and spend them with your kids. Whether you’re playing Wii or building block towers or shopping at the mall, take time to listen to them—and to tell them how much you love them. Surprise your spouse with a date or the romantic getaway you’ve been talking about. Meet a friend for lunch, or call a long-distance friend to say hello.

Maybe you’ve been saying that one of these days, you’ll get back in church. So why not today? This spring—and the Easter season—is a great opportunity to join a community of believers and refresh your faith in the One who gave His life for you and loves you more than you can imagine.

After all, He’s the only One who can truly give you rest from your weariness and burdens. 

And He’s the only One who can truly fix what is broken. 

This article appears in the March/April issue of Haslet Style magazine.

Who Are YOU Wearing?

On Sunday, the 82nd Academy Awards rolled out the red carpet for a constellation of celebrities, bedecked in the finery of Hollywood’s most sought-after designers. Interview after interview began with a nod to the celeb’s attire, as the reporter asked, “Who are you wearing?” and awaited the acknowledgment requisite to such events.

Yesterday, I took the kids shopping at Kohl’s, wielding my 30% off coupon, in search of Easter shoes. We lucked into a clearance rack that had several dressy things for the girls. As they tried on the sparkly dresses, they beamed in delight, spinning around and admiring themselves in the three-way mirror in the dressing room.

It’s funny how much your attitude can change, just by putting on fancy clothes. “The clothes make the man,” the old saying goes, and it’s true that when you dress up, you tend to have better posture, speak more precisely, and mind your manners more than, say, when you’re wearing sweats. My dad understood this, and he used to tell us, “Dress for the occasion, because your clothes affect your behavior.”

Perhaps not coincidentally, our women’s Bible study group is going through the Precept study of Covenant. In lesson 1, we observed a few Old Testament covenants, and we discovered that the ancient practice of cutting covenant included several elements, including an oath, a condition, a sign, a name change, witnesses, and a covenant meal. (Incidentally, does this remind you of a wedding ceremony?) This week, we’re discovering another element of cutting covenant—exchanging clothes.

In 1 Samuel 18:1–5, we are told of the extraordinary friendship between King Saul’s son Jonathan and the future king of Israel, David. In the face of his father’s opposition to his friend, “Jonathan made a covenant with David . . . And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.”

Why did Jonathan give David his clothes? It was part of the covenant. As our study explains, “When Jonathan gave David his robe, David was symbolically ‘putting on Jonathan.’ In covenant, two become one. Likewise, when we repent and receive the Lord Jesus Christ, we enter into the New Covenant of grace, merging ourselves in Him. In doing so, we, in essence, put on His robe.”

In other words, we put on Christ. We become like Him.

This exchange of clothes is a recurring theme in the New Testament. Over and over, we are exhorted to lay aside the old self and put on the new self, to put aside our sin and be clothed with the righteousness of Christ—an idea rich with covenant themes.

Take a look at just a few of these descriptions:

• All who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on the character of Christ, like putting on new clothes. (Galatians 3:26)

• The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. (Romans 13:12–14; emphasis added)

• Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. (Ephesians 4:21–24)

After urging Christians to put on the “new nature” in Ephesians 4, the apostle Paul spends the rest of the chapter describing what our new attire looks like:

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:25-31)

When we partake of Christ's covenant of grace, Scripture is clear: we exchange our sin-stained garment for Christ's pure and holy one. And by putting on His clothes, we are wrapped in His identity. Our attitude and behavior are consistent with the character of Christ Himself.

We are clothed with Christ. And as the saying goes, “The clothes make the man (or woman).”

So this week, as you and I go through our daily routine of getting dressed, whether for the everyday routine or a special occasion, let’s look beyond our wardrobe and ask ourselves:

Who are YOU wearing?

And the Award Goes to ... YOU!

Last night, I turned on the TV to catch a few minutes of the Academy Awards. When I tuned in, the camera was focused on Ben Stiller, elaborately dressed as a blue alien from Avatar. (Whoa! Wasn’t expecting that!) As I watched the next few awards, I enjoyed scanning the crowd and seeing all the stunning gowns. (Did anyone else notice that this year most of the dresses were actually modest?)

Seeing the celebrities gush over their Oscar statues reminded me of Pastor’s Brett’s sermon last week. He’s been preaching through the book of 2 Timothy, and last week’s message was “Live Balanced,” drawn from 2 Timothy 1:15–18, where Paul says that while many believers turned away from him, one was a loyal friend.

Using a stability ball as a visual aid, Brett demonstrated the importance of strengthening your core by centering on Christ, rather than tilting toward the opinions of others—regardless of whether those people are criticizing and betraying you, or praising and blessing you. Either way, when you focus on the opinions of others, you lose your balance!

The acceptance speeches last night—reminiscent of Sally Field’s infamous (but slightly misquoted) line: “You like me! You really like me!”—made me realize how often we, too, earnestly seek the approval of others, clutching their praise like a treasured golden statue.

Yet when we take our eyes off Christ and look to others for their approval, we lose our balance. And if we’re not careful, we’ll end up like Humpty Dumpty, poised for a great fall.

But here’s the great news—when we stay centered on Christ instead of tipping toward the opinions of people, we will receive a heavenly award! It’s not a golden statue, but an eternal prize, one worth getting excited about.

As he closes his second letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul gives us a glimpse of this heavenly award:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7–8; emphasis added)

Someday, when we, too, have fought the good fight and remained faithful, we will be in the presence of our Lord, the righteous Judge. We will cast off this perishable body and put on the imperishable, be clothed in dazzling white robes, and hear the words we’ve been longing for: “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord.”

And on that day, the award will go to . . . YOU! Because, after all, He likes you! He really likes you!

You Could Have Just Asked!

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

--James 1:5

Thanks for your patience during my hiatus from blogging! I’ve been writing for publication, and the publisher has asked me not to post those stories electronically. But stay tuned! I’ll let you know where you can find them in the bookstores.

As we begin the Lenten season, I am looking forward to receiving free daily reflections from Dr. Larry Crabb. And thinking of Dr. Crabb, I was reminded of a funny incident that happened years ago . . .


A few years back, we lived just south of Austin in a two-story house that had a game room and all the bedrooms upstairs. My husband, an executive pastor at the time, worked in the study downstairs. Being an odd hybrid of working-stay-at-home mother, I didn’t have an official home office; instead, I lugged my laptop around the house and edited while watching our preschool girls, who were ages four and two. (Our little guy wasn’t born yet.)


The upside of working from home are the hours (anytime you want to work) and the commute (none whatsoever). But the downside is that sometimes the lines between work life and family life are blurred.


Such was the case one late morning when I was in the process of editing Soul Talk by—you guessed it!—Dr. Larry Crabb. I should mention here, for those of you who aren’t familiar with Dr. Crabb, that he is one of America’s premier Christian psychologists. He is scholar in residence at Colorado University and spiritual director of the American Academy of Christian Counselors. He is also founder of New Way Ministries, popular Bible teacher and speaker, and author of dozens of books on subjects ranging from counseling to family life.


I needed to call him to discuss the latest revisions to his book, so I set out lots of toys for the girls in the game room and told them to please play quietly while Mommy made a very important work phone call. And I told Brett to please listen for the girls and come upstairs if he heard anything. Then I took my laptop and phone into our bedroom and shut the door.


(I bet you can guess what happens next, huh?)


I was enjoying my phone call with Dr. Crabb—who is truly gracious, professional, and kind—when about midway into our phone conversation, the girls burst into the bedroom, squalling and bellyaching about some disagreement. (Note to self: I should have locked the door.)


“Mom! She stole my toy!”

“Did not!”

“Did too! Mom, she’s lying!”

“Am not!”

“Are too! Make her give it back! It’s miiiiiiine!!!”

Scream.


Mortified, and trying to conjure up enough telepathy to make Brett come upstairs, I said into the receiver, “Excuse me, Dr. Crabb. I need to handle something really quick. I’m so sorry.”


Then I proceeded to deal with the situation. I can’t remember exactly what I did, probably something like confiscate the toy and put it in time-out, and then send the girls to their bedrooms. And I’m pretty sure I used that half-whisper, half-growling And you better get along or else tone of voice as I shooed them out of the room and shut the door behind them.


Picking up the phone again, I distinctly remember being struck by a sinking feeling of realization—Dr. Larry Crabb had overheard the entire interchange with my kids. Dr. Larry Crabb, the premier psychologist and family counselor. The guy who trains counselors and writes books about parenting. He had just overheard me discipline my preschoolers.


Yikes!


Back on the call, I remember fumbling some kind of apology and then saying something like, “I’m sure you probably heard my kids squabbling. I hope I handled that right!”


Dr. Crabb chuckled good-naturedly, clearly getting a kick out of the situation. And I’ll never forget what he said next: “Yeah, I heard it. Your kids are just regular kids, that’s all. And don’t worry: you handled it well. But you know, I was here the whole time. If you needed help, you could have just asked!”


In the years since then, I have worked with Dr. Crabb on a few other books. We have a great working relationship, and he always asks me about our kids and our church. A few months ago, I was working with him on his current book, 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God That Invites You into His Story. I asked him if he remembered that incident, years ago, with my squabbling kids. He did, and we both got a good laugh at the memory.


I’ve thought of that incident several times since then. Because, you see, every moment of every day, I have Someone much wiser and infinitely more capable of helping present with me. He is ready, willing, and able to help me raise our children in a godly manner. Best of all, He can not only give me counseling advice, but He can give me true wisdom.


And anytime I need His help, I could just ask!

Flashback Friday: Queen for a Day

Welcome to Flashback Friday! Here's a post from August 2008, on a day when I was doing a little wishful thinking . . . and got a much-needed God-nudge.

The thunderstorms that rolled in yesterday put a damper on our plans to go to the playground. So instead, we stayed inside and tried to make the most of the afternoon.

The four of us paraded upstairs, where Miss B pulled out the Dance Praise 2 mat and started some fancy footwork in the game room.

JJ headed to her bedroom to put on a play.“I’m going to be the princess,” she announced,  pulling out a tiara and a purple dress.

“Okay. What should Buddy be?” I asked, as her younger brother nosed around beside her in the dress-up box.

“Oh, he can be the boring guy,” JJ said dismissively.

Hmm. Okay. I handed Buddy a hard hat and instructed him to “be boring.” He put the hat on backwards and grabbed a toy baseball bat. “O-tay, Mama!” He grinned broadly. Huh. That boy couldn’t be boring if he tried.

I turned back to JJ. “What do you want me to be?”

She handed me some costume jewelry. “You can be the queen!” she announced. Then she handed me her prized Disney Princess magic wand—the kind that you push a button and briiiing! Your wish comes true.

Bejeweled with my magic wand, a sparkly tiara, and pink beaded necklace, I took my place on my “throne” (JJ’s bed) and began my reign as “queen.” It went something like this:

Buddy grabs JJ’s lip gloss when she’s not looking. 

JJ: “Hey, give me that! Hey! HEY!”

Buddy, clinging to the lip gloss with all his might: “AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

Me, waving my magic wand: “I'm the queen, and I say don’t fight with your brother!” Briiing!

JJ giggles and smiles. I unfurl Buddy’s clenched fist, retrieve the lip gloss, and grab a tissue to wipe the glittery pink goo from his cheek.

A few minutes later . . .

Miss B, coming into the room: “Hey, what are you guys doing?”

JJ: “We’re having a play. I’m the princess!”

Miss B: “No fair, I wanna be the princess!”

JJ, firmly: “No. You can be the maid.”

Miss B: “I don’t wanna be the maid! I’m wanna be the princess!”

JJ: “Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I’m the princess!!!!!!!!”

Me, waving my magic wand: “Children, get along!” Briiiing!

JJ and Miss B giggle at me and reach a compromise: JJ can be the princess, but Miss B will be the empress. (She's smart, that kid.)

This went on for about ten minutes, with my “royal subjects” (mostly) agreeing to do what I commanded with my magic wand. And with each briiiing!, I thought, Hey, this is great. We should play this game more often!

Don’t you wish there were some kind of “magic wand” to grab on those days when you feel like you’re about to lose your cool—or your mind?

Stop whining! Briiing!
Take your nap! Briiing!
Clean your room! Briiing!

Or maybe for you, it would look more like,

Overdue bills, disappear! Briiing!
Marriage, be restored! Briiing!
Someone, pay attention to me! Briiing!

But we all know that’s not how God created us. After all, if we had a magic wand, we wouldn’t need Him! What our loving, heavenly Father really wants for us is not a carefree life, but a faith that clings to Him amid life’s struggles.

A year ago, my husband sensed God’s call to plant a church. So we sold our home in Austin, packed up our family of five, and moved to Fort Worth with the assurance of God’s calling—but with no church members, sponsors, or financial aid of any kind. It was just Brett and me, our children, and God’s call.

One of the verses I kept going back to during those faith-clinging, loaves-and-fishes days was Psalm 37:5: “Depend on the Lord; trust him, and he will take care of you.” I often found myself reminding God of this verse: “God, we’re completely depending on You here. See this? You promised that if we depend on You, You will take care of us!” And then I’d sense God’s gentle response: Yes, my child, I know you are depending on Me. But do you trust Me?

Humph. I was kind of hoping God would just wave His “magic wand” and give us everything we needed. Briiing! Here are your church members. Briiing! Here’s a salary for Brett. Briiing! Here are your building and church office and worship leader and staff and children’s ministry workers and . . . You get the idea. But instead, God was teaching me to trust Him.

And He still is.

I’m no longer reigning as “queen” around here; that game ended all too quickly yesterday. But I am a daughter of the King, depending on and trusting my heavenly Father a little more each day.

And that’s the kind of royalty I’m proud to be!

Something Has to Happen

This morning, as I was driving Miss B to school for her first coaching session of the UIL storytelling team, I asked her if she remembered the elements of a good story. (My poor kids; other moms can teach their children how to bake, sew, and do all kinds of crafts—all I can do is teach mine how to incorporate a good throughline in their writing.)

Miss B didn’t miss a beat. We had talked about this before she wrote her PTA Reflections story a few months ago. (Which, incidentally, was the only second grade entry I saw that featured not only a story, but also a title page, dedication, table of contents, and an about the author page. Sniff, sniff. She makes this mama so proud!)

“First, you have to have a character you care about,” Miss B said. “Next, you have to have a setting. Then, something has to happen. And by the end, the character has to learn something and be different because of what happened in the story.”

Granted, this is a very simplistic rendition of what we discussed. (For more on the elements of story, I highly recommend The Hero’s 2 Journeys, by Michael Hauge and Christopher Vogler.) But she at least remembered the main parts.

I hugged her good-bye and headed back to the car, ready to zip home and get J.J. ready for school. But during the drive home, I kept thinking about this:

Then, something has to happen.

It’s a simple idea, really. No story can be compelling, exciting, or motivating without something happening. You can’t just let your hero sit there and do nothing. (As Vogler said, “You can’t make a movie about going to work. Unless, of course, your hero encounters kidnappers, assassins, and terrorists on the way to the office.”)

In every good story, the hero encounters something—a challenge, a conflict, a quest. Faced with this obstacle, the hero has the opportunity to overcome and learn from it. And if the story is effective, the hero at the beginning is not the same hero at the end. A fundamental transformation has taken place somewhere along the way.

The same thing is true in life, isn’t it? No matter how much we want to avoid challenge or conflict, the truth is that if we’re ever going to become the people God has created us to be, something has to happen.

You can’t just sit there and do nothing.

What “something” will it take for you to stop reading other people’s stories and start living your own? What risk will you take, challenge will you overcome, dream will you fulfill? And most importantly, what’s stopping you?

Or maybe you have all the "something" in your life you can handle right now. You are struggling with (even paralyzed by) pain or shame or heartache or grief. No matter how much you wish you could grab an eraser and blot out that “something” from the pages of your life, your story wouldn’t be complete without it. You see, the Author has woven that “something” into your story, giving you the opportunity to work through it and, in the process, to learn, to grow, and to be transformed into the image of Christ (2 Cor. 3:18).

Because it's the same in storytelling and in life: in every good story, something has to happen.

And if your life story is effective, you won’t be the same at the end. A fundamental transformation will have happened along the way.

For All the Craft-Challenged Moms Out There...

Valentine’s Day Haiku

Teachers want “crafty”

I feel like a lousy mom

On Valentine’s Day

I let out a sigh in the car pickup lane
As the girls pile in and both eagerly exclaim:
“Guess what, Mom? Next Friday is Valentine’s Day!
We get to make boxes to put on display!”

And it’s not just my two school-age kids who need aid;
But my son’s Mom’s Day Out wants a box to be made.
My kids think it’s great; they’re all eager to start;
Convinced that their boxes will be great works of art.

There are moms who can scrapbook and make crafts with ease;
But I’m the first to admit I am not one of these.
For I am a writer; words are what I do.
I’m no good with glitter, ribbon, or hot glue.

When it comes to heart doilies and glue sticks and beads
I can’t make them work; art supplies make me freeze.
I dread the notes teachers send this time of year,
Quite sure they are asking the one thing I fear.

We craft-challenged moms are so misunderstood;
We can’t make a red-and-pink box that looks good.
Maybe I’ll write something—that’s what I’ll do!
I’ll send the kids off with a Valentine’s haiku:

Children, I love you

Sorry your boxes are lame

But you are the best!