Monday, July 23, 2012

A Surprise Beginning


 
Well, as most of you know, it’s official. I promised myself that I wouldn’t write specifics about the Thing Itself, so if you’re looking for “the scoop,” you can go ahead and stop reading. You won’t find it on this blog. 

For those of you who are still here, I’m finally taking a few baby steps into writing about what I’ve been experiencing and learning the past few months. And I'm trying to process how to live a faithful life and hear God's whispers of grace in the midst of my new and unexpected circumstances.

Before I start telling you the stories of my recent journey, let’s start off by clearing the air a bit, shall we?

  1. Divorce is NOT contagious. You can still be my friend; it’s okay. You won't "catch" it.
  2. God hates divorce. In His original design, marriages are NOT supposed to end except by death. Yes, Jesus gave the exception for infidelity. But the marriage covenant is intended to last a lifetime, as a picture of Christ's unending love for the church. I absolutely agree.
  3.  Despite the truth of #2, sometimes there’s a story behind the divorce that you may not know. So please don’t judge every divorced person and think, “They just didn’t try hard enough.” Sometimes divorce comes even when you desperately don’t want it to. When you pray and beg and plead for it not to.You don't always know what happened in that marriage. So when you encounter a divorced person, PLEASE remember to show grace.
 Okay, now that we’ve gotten THAT out of the way…

I have dozens of stories to share with you. I’ve been bottling them up, nearly exploding with the need to express what has been going on. But it’s so hard to put these things into words. 

Here's a little background: I signed the decree on Thursday night, with precious friends covering me with prayer and love and grace (... and bubble wrap dancing, but that's another story!). Then Friday I went on a trip with girlfriends from the neighborhood. So by God's grace, my first full day of being divorced I didn’t spend alone. I was with my closest girlfriends. And the next night I spent with my best, best girlfriend—my heart friend. It was a fun, healing, grace-filled weekend.

There are lots of stories about the girls' trip, of course, that I’m skipping over. It was, to say the least, a very memorable adventure, filled with lots of "firsts" and lots of fun. :)

But here's the story I want to tell you now:

On Sunday, my girlfriend took me to her church in Austin. (Random info: My girlfriend and I both grew up Southern Baptist. We met in a Bible church at Texas A&M. After college, I veered nondenominational and she became Presbyterian. Then I married a Baptist pastor, and she dated an Episcopal priest. Weird how life works out, huh?)

Anyway, the church she now attends is Anglican. It’s VERY far from my Southern Baptist roots. But I really wanted to go. My aching heart longed for the liturgy and reverence and community of the greater body of Christ.

I’ll skip over the details of the service for the sake of time. Which brings me to the heart of this blog—what I really want you to experience with me:

Communion.

(Before you keep reading, note that I'm not going to debate theological views of Communion. Please, let's just all agree to meet at the table as the body of Christ and see beyond our differing views to the God of the sacrament.)

At the end of the service in an Anglican church, you receive the Eucharist.

Let me say it again so my Baptist and nondenominational friends notice the slight distinction. 

You RECEIVE the Eucharist. (Or Communion. Or Lord's Supper. Whatever you want to call it.)

You don’t pass the plate down the pew--or folding chairs--and take a cracker or filled plastic cup and put it in your own mouth. You don't "take" Communion. Nope. You walk up front, stand alongside the other believers, and hold your cupped hands in front of you. Extended and open, much like a beggar. Humbled. And ready to receive the elements.

Then the priest walks by and looks at you gently and directly. “This is the body of Christ, broken for you,” he says, placing a piece of bread in your outstretched hands. And you receive the body of Christ in a very personal way. Then he presents to you the chalice. Again, he looks at you and says, “This is the blood of Christ, spilled for you.” And he brings the cup to your mouth (you don’t even touch it), and you receive the blood of Christ.

You RECEIVE it. 

Just like you did when Christ gave His life for you. You receive the sacrament the same way you received your salvation. Not of any work of your own, but simply by extending your empty hands like a beggar, cupped and open and ready to be filled by Him.

I’m not going to wax eloquent about all the implications of covenant here, so I will say only this: a covenant is often celebrated with a meal. That’s why a bride and groom entwine their arms to share wedding cake to celebrate their covenant of marriage.

So in God’s magnificent grace, the first Sunday I came to worship with a heart deeply grieving that broken marriage covenant, God reminded me of His own, unbreakable covenant with me. 

And I received the covenant meal.

That Sunday, receiving Communion was a significant reminder that I belong to Him. That He is my forever husband. 

It was a watershed moment for me. One of those significant times you memorialize as a divine encounter with God. Like the old hymn says, it was my Ebenezer--"rock of help." (see 1 Sam. 7:12.)

It marked a new beginning for me. 

Lots of stories have surprise endings—but mine has a surprise beginning. And my new beginning started with a covenant meal with my heavenly Husband.

I don't know how my story will end, of course. Only God knows all the days of my life that were written in His book before yet one of them existed. But I know this: something brand-new started this week. And I am confident that the God who started a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

So day by day, I will look to Him and watch the Author of my life reveal the rest of the story.

"That was just the beginning. I have a lot more to tell you, things you never knew existed. This isn't a variation on the same old thing. This is new, brand-new, something you'd never guess or dream up." (Isa. 48:6)


15 comments:

  1. Beautiful.....I am so proud of you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Tessa! Your encouragement means so much to me!

      Delete
  2. I'm glad you are not one of those that thinks divorce is the end. Sometimes it is the beginning of a new and wonderful journey. I can actually say "been there, done that"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eric, your friendship and life of godliness and hope mean the world to me. You and Glenda are such shining examples of serving God in a blended and beautiful family. I admire and respect you both so much! Thanks for your encouragement!

      Delete
  3. You are such an inspirational writer! God has big plans on the horizon for you! You remind me of the flower buds on the vine that are pregnant and one the verge of blooming into a magnificent flower. Right before they bloom they have to break and split apart, water starts dripping out and that is how I know a flower will soon bloom. You have been through a hard time and your faith is so strong it drips from everything you say and do therefore I am sure it is time for you to bloom :) love you sweet friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, my sweet and dear friend, all your encouragement and help and fierce friendship during these past few months have been more precious to me than diamonds! I won't reveal your name since your blog doesn't say it, but I know exactly who you are... and I LOVE YOU!!! Thank you for being available and willing for God to use you in my life in a significant, transforming, powerful way. Hugs!

      Delete
  4. You are such an inspirational writer! God has big plans on the horizon for you! You remind me of the flower buds on the vine that are pregnant and one the verge of blooming into a magnificent flower. Right before they bloom they have to break and split apart, water starts dripping out and that is how I know a flower will soon bloom. You have been through a hard time and your faith is so strong it drips from everything you say and do therefore I am sure it is time for you to bloom :) love you sweet friend!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such a wonderful story, Jennifer. As you know, His covenant with us, which can never be broken, is foundational to our security, comfort, peace, and ALL that He is. HE will never leave nor forsake us. What a beautiful and timely way for your true husband to remind you of His love and faithfulness - the celebration of the covenant meal. As you shared this experience with us, I received a fresh reminder of this amazing truth. Keep on writing! :>) Love you, Bev Smallwood

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, what an encouragement your prayers and words are to me! I have thought of you and your wisdom many times during this whole experience. I especially loved reading your words to me today--they made me happy cry. Thank you! I appreciate you so much.

      Delete
  6. "Not contagious..." That's funny in a sad way. Or sad in a funny way. Depends upon my mood when I see the unconscious recoil.

    Fortunately, I received a precious gift from these naive responses from well-meaning Christian brothers and sisters. I learned to rest in my identity in Christ. After a few knocks and bruises, that identity became nice and firm, like it should have been all along. I used to feel the need to explain my circumstances, or correct their simplistic hermeneutic, or season their theology with a little realism. Now, I am satisfied with the knowledge that God knows my heart, loves me 'warts and everything,' and has plans to include me in His great redemptive plan for the world.

    "God hates divorce," they say.

    "Yes," I respond, "and I couldn't agree with Him more. I hate it too."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mark, that's exactly what I needed to hear right now... this very moment. And it means so much to me knowing that it comes from someone who has been in this desert place of divorce. I LOVE this: "I am satisfied with the knowledge that God knows my heart, loves me warts and everything, and has plans to include me in His great redemptive plan for the world." I think I'll borrow that as my life's motto! Thank you for all your encouragement throughout this process. I really appreciate you and am so grateful for your wisdom and grace!

      Delete
  7. I love you! God has great things for you. God does hate divorce, but He always uses the events in our life for His greater good. I cannot waot to see what He does in your life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Michala! I love you too. :) You have been such a dear and precious friend to me--thank you for EVERYTHING! I'm so glad I have friends like you who don't shun me for wearing the "scarlet D" but instead come alongside me to support, encourage, and help. And also to have fun! Great big hugs to you, my sweet friend.

      Delete
  8. You have truly been my inspiration and helpmate as I too am going through a divorce. I love that you addressed the issue of wanting to make a marriage work and that sometimes things are beyond our control. I too would have loved to stay married to the man I made those vows to, but you're prayers and talks have helped me immensely. You are strong, faithful and true. God will truly bless you!
    Jennifer H.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jenn! I'm praying God's blessings for you, too, sweetheart. We'll walk this broken road together. Love you!

      Delete