But all it takes is a scroll through my Facebook
feed to see startling pictures and hear crushing stories of the devastation
Hurricane Sandy left in her wake last night. I just Googled the news headlines,
which currently cite 39 known fatalities from this monster storm.
So far.
I can’t wrap my brain around the reality of 39
people being fine one minute… then washed out to sea and killed the next by some freak
storm.
It’s unfathomable.
No, it’s more than that. It’s downright unconscionable.
An “act of God,” the insurance agents call it.
Wait…God
did this? The “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life” God?
Okay. Let’s ask the question we’re all thinking but are sometimes ashamed to admit.
We asked it after 9/11. We asked it after Hurricane Katrina. We ask it whenever we turn on the news these days. (On the news website I read today, I was sickened by headline after headline of murder, horror, pain, and loss.)
We ask this question when our spouse betrays us. Or when a friend calls us with heartbreaking news. Or when the doctor gives us the diagnosis. Or when we watch the coffin of a loved one lowered into the ground.
We asked it after 9/11. We asked it after Hurricane Katrina. We ask it whenever we turn on the news these days. (On the news website I read today, I was sickened by headline after headline of murder, horror, pain, and loss.)
We ask this question when our spouse betrays us. Or when a friend calls us with heartbreaking news. Or when the doctor gives us the diagnosis. Or when we watch the coffin of a loved one lowered into the ground.
[[Before I go on: let me gently say something to any
Christians reading this who may claim that you’ve
never doubted God’s sovereignty in the face of evil. As
one pastor well said, the only Christians who don’t ever doubt are the ones who don’t
really think. Author Mark Buchanan agrees: “The depth of our doubt is roughly
proportional to the depth of our faith. Those with strong faith have equally
strong doubts. That principle bears out in the other direction as well: People
with a trivial and shallow faith usually have trivial and shallow doubts.” So trust me, if you haven't asked this question yet, someday you will.]]
But for those of us who have been shattered by pain…
who know Anguish on a first-name basis…who simply cannot hide in steepled
buildings or Christian conferences and pretend that suffering
doesn’t exist, let’s come right out and say the question that’s haunting us:
What kind of God allows THIS?!?
What kind of God allows a pastor to walk out on his church, his family, and his faith?
What kind of God allows spouses to be abused? Children to be bullied? Neglected? Molested?
What kind of God allows people to be killed in freak accidents? By drunk drivers? By murderers?
What kind of God allows infertility? Miscarriage? Stillbirth? SIDS?
What kind of God allows rape? Cancer? AIDS? Poverty? Terrorism? War?
The questions are endless. Insert yours here:
Eighteenth-century
philosopher David Hume asked the question this way: “Is God willing to prevent
evil, but not able? Then he is impotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he
is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?”
That’s a good question.
Now, I could go one of two ways with this blog post.
One option is that I could vehemently and eloquently denounce Hume’s
trilemma by filling page after page with myriad Scripture verses and biblical proofs
of God’s sovereignty. I could pull a few of the dozens of apologetics books off
my library shelves and meticulously articulate the logical and philosophical
rationales for God’s omnipotence and His overarching plan for the universe.
Twenty years ago, I would have done exactly that.
Because it’s a billion times easier to cite Scripture verses than it is to
wrestle with reality.
But I simply can’t do that anymore.
Because logic doesn’t mend the broken places.
Philosophy won’t bring back our loved ones.
And all the books in the world can’t turn back the
clock and undo the suffering around us.
So what’s the other option I have for this blog
post?
I'll skip over all the “God works all things
together for good” answers (even though they’re true), and just get to the core
of the matter:
God is always good.
But life sometimes sucks.
I’ve been a Christian for 32 years. I’ve led Bible
studies for decades. I have a seminary degree and twenty years’ experience in
editing Christian books. I’ve spent my life immersed in the Word of God.
And while I could quote Bible passages, articulate
theology, and write endless papers on this topic, the truth is, I don’t really know
why God allows suffering. And this side of eternity, I'll never know. Because as my college roommate used to say, "If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn't be big enough to be God."
After years of walking with Christ though good times
and grief-stricken times, I can only say this for sure:
Jesus
loves me. This I know.
I know that might seem like a cop-out for those of
you who are hoping for a different answer to the question, “How could a good
God allow suffering?” But it’s the only answer I have.
If you want a comprehensive answer
replete with philosophy and logic, you can find those in any
bookstore. I have a dozen or more tomes to recommend.
But if you boil down all those volumes of theology
and apologetics and philosophy, you’d come up with the same answer.
No matter what the circumstances…
When your mind is swirling with doubts and your heart is shattered with pain...
You can hold on to this simple truth for dear life:
That you can KNOW.
I don't know about Jesus, but I know I love you. :)
ReplyDelete~Jam
Aw, thank you, Jamie! That means so much to me. I love you too! I'm deeply grateful for the treasure of your honest, loyal friendship. :)
DeleteThis is awesome, Jennifer. I am reposting your blog. I do want to say "thank you" though. For ALWAYS being faithful & grateful & honest in your writing and your testimonies. Blogs/post like this let people know it's ok to wonder.. to ask. It doesn't mean we are staying in faith.. it's just one of our many questions. I have a deep respect for you.. your knowledge.. your heart. You are an excellent example of "living your life in/for the will of God". God Bless.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so encouraged by your kind words! Thank you!!! Sometimes I pause before hitting "Post," wondering if people will think less of me because I'm no longer able to pull off the "smiley, happy Christian" motif. But the older I get (and the more of life I experience), the more I realize that it's okay to be honest. Thanks for your response!
DeleteThis is a great post Jennifer. I used to ask myself that alot, always wanting to know why, why, why. And probably still do on a subconscious level sometimes still, not realizing it. But what I've grown to understand over the years is God does Love me, He Loves us all. While I/we go through those moments God is planting something in us and helps us to nourish it and help it become a force for good. I've learned to look for the good and to use it as a blessing in my future. It did take me a while to see that God was there for me, I was in such turmoil. But when I stopped looking for what I thought was my future, I saw God standing there waiting for me with the future that God wants for me. Keep pushing your publish button. :) This is my first time reading your Blog so it was meant to be. I needed to read this today. It made my heart swell to think of the trials so many have gone through and to see the love for God in so many.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouragement and for your honesty. I know far too well the agony of asking why, why, why. I somehow thought that if I could just understand it, then the pain would go away. How foolish of me! Even if I could fully know "why," that knowledge wouldn't heal my hurt. It took me a long time to realize that what I really needed wasn't UNDERSTANDING, but HOPE. I love what you said: "When I stopped looking for what I thought was my future, I saw God standing there waiting for me with the future that God wants for me." Amen! What a beautiful, hope-filled perspective!!! Thank you so much for sharing. I look forward to hearing more about what God is doing in your life!
DeleteYou have so much talent and a beautiful family. It is alright to be sad about the losses. May you feel God's presence today. Love Barry
ReplyDelete